i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
