Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
