my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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