I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
