He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
