i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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