my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
