I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
