K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
