Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize