i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
When are your genitals available?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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