Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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