We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
