I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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