Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
