so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
