Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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