I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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