my sisters under your porch take her home
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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