The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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