I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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