I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
