how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
