At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
