Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
