...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
