I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
