i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
