Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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