Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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