Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
