They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
