Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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