Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
