i think my tv is drunk
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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