I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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