Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
