My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
