Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
