Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
