Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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