OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize