Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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