Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
