im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
