last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
