is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
