I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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