who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
