airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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