if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We talked him into tasing himself.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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