i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
