matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
