so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
