did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Come on in and take your pants off
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