its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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