Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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