The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
