i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
