Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
