Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
