I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
