Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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