i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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