Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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