if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
where are you?
Hypothermia
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
