I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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